• An oak tree on the ground looks four times bigger than it did standing up.
• When house hunting, look for closets with lots of leg room.
• Water from the shower is much colder than water from the kitchen sink--and tastes just as bad.
• AA, C and D are the only alphabet we need (batteries)
• The four-way stop is still an ingenious reflection of civility.
• Radio can be the best way to watch television.
• Chain-saw wielding men are nothing to be afraid of.
• SUV's are the best makeshift tents on the market.
• You can use your washing machine as a cooler.
• It's your God given right to sit on your back porch and eat Chinese takeout by candlelight in your underwear.
• We shouldn't complain about "useless" tools in the garage - we actually DO need a generator
• You can't spell "priceless" without I-C-E.
• Downed power lines make excellent security systems.
• Lakes can generate waves.
• Gasoline is a value at any price
• Cell phones: Breaking up isn't hard to do.
• The life blood of any disaster recovery is COFFEE
• The need for your dog to go out and take care of business is inversely proportional to the severity of the storm.
• Candlelight is better than Botox--- it takes years off your appearance
• Air Conditioning: BEST. INVENTION. EVER.
• Water is a comfort food. But 3-day-old Cheetos are too.
• Shadow animals on the wall---still fun.
• No matter how hard the wind blows, roadside campaign signs will survive.
• You should never admit to having power at your house in the presence of co-workers or neighbors who do not.
• There's a plus to having NOTHING in the refrigerator.
• Getting through the day should be an Olympic event.
• The movie theater can be a most pleasant place, even if the feature is Alien vs. Predator
• Somebody's got it worse.
• Somebody's got it better. Obviously, they're getting preferential treatment.

You know you live in Florida when:

• You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.
• You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
• Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti-O’s.
• You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
• When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.
• You are on a first-name basis with the cashiers at Home Depot.
• You are delighted to pay only $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
• You decide that your patio furniture really does look better at the bottom of the pool.
• You own more than three large coolers.
• You wish that other people get hit by a hurricane for a change and don't feel guilty about it.
• You have a hundred 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.
• Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain without reading the directions; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
• You catch a 13-pound redfish in your driveway.
• You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
• You have had tuna fish more than five days in a row.
• There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
• You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the National Hurricane Center
• Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
• Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
• Relocating to Cleveland does not seem like such a crazy idea.
• You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.
• You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or tree worker.
• A battery-powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
• You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
• Your child's first words are "hunker down."
• Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it’s Christmas.
• You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "dirty side."
• You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.